we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
