I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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