return my video game
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
