Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
