i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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