We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
