no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
