it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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