remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
