You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
i think i just lost a toe
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
