I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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