even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
ugly people sure do ruin things
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
