ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Randomize
