hotel room ftw
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
i just google imaged poop.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Randomize
