He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
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