isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Randomize
