I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
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