Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
