he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize