ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
it's great music for shaving your balls
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
