I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
