Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
