well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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