just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
