i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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