I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
