I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
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