I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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