I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
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