i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
i think i have two assholes
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
