In the future we'll all be gay
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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