my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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