Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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