She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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