Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Rumble strips road head = magical
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
