Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
