I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
