where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Did I show you my penis last night?
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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