Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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