I wish I could punch you in the face.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
