Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
