After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
