Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Randomize
