Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
