i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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