:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
