I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Green mimosas i think yes
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
