plz talk dirty to me
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Randomize
