Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
