There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Randomize
