I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize