you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize