are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize