i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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