Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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