have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Dick very happy bro
Randomize
