it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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