I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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