i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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