Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
