Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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