her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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