Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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