alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
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