It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
