I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
